Just about anyone can report a parent to a child abuse hotline. It’s meant to protect children, but all too often, parents are reported when no abuse or neglect exists in order to retaliate for a divorce or some other grievance. And though the world is actually safer for children than it used to be, some parents are reported for merely letting children play outside or walk to school without an adult in attendance, what was once thought of as normal. Some activists say this robs children of independence. An expert and a woman who went through an unjustified child abuse investigation discuss.
Corey Widen, mother reported to child abuse hotline, Wilmette, IL
Rachel Ruttenberg, Executive Director, Family Defense Center, Chicago
Studies show that college students are America’s loneliest people—even more so than the elderly—even though they’re surrounded by people and activities. The role of technology is discussed in isolating students, and the role of changing culture toward children and adolescents having a constantly structured schedule with few breaks for downtime or spontaneity. Experts also discuss how parents, schools and students themselves can overcome social isolation.
Rachel Simmons, Leadership Development Specialist, Smith College
Dr. Victor Schwartz, Chief Medical Officer, JED Foundation
Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, Brigham Young University
When life changes from revolving around the kids to adjusting to an empty nest, many parents find themselves asking “what next?” Wendy Aronssen, psychotherapist and author of Refeathering the Empty Nest: Life After the Children Leave, explains the common experiences of many parents when their last child leaves the home.
While popular culture often sees the empty nest as an opportunity for celebration, many parents commonly feel a sense of loss, insecurity, and instability. Aronssen says this is no surprise, because parents who have had the same life and job description for 18+ years are suddenly left without a label. She calls the experience of the empty nest “the shift,” because every aspect of life gets changed.
Aronssen says the emotional experience of empty nesters can follow the outlines of the Kubler-Ross stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. To handle all these emotions, Aronssen encourages parents to see the empty nest as an opportunity for growth and development as individuals and as a couple.
The impact on a couple’s marriage holds potential for the great rewards of a newly revived marriage or for divorce. It takes intentionality to rediscover goals and dreams for the parents. Aronssen also brings up the complication of the boomerang children, kids that return home after being unable to move out or find a job after graduation. She emphasizes the importance of setting clear expectations on both sides. Ultimately, there is a loss in the empty nest, but there are also many opportunities for a fulfilling future.
To learn more about empty nesting or to purchase a copy of Aronssen’s book, visit the links below.
Wendy Aronssen, psychotherapist and author, Refeathering the Empty Nest: Life After the Children Leave
Many teenage boys are labeled as lazy because they spend too much time online, playing video games or watching TV.. Dr. Adam Price, author He’s Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself, says these actually want to do well in school, but are afraid of failure. To deal with this pressure, and the issues that come along with it, they choose to opt-out. They choose activities that don’t give them anxiety like school does.
Dr. Adam Price says kids need to be internally motivated to put more energy into school, and suggests an approach using the three Cs. The first is Competence, the belief you can do something motivates people to want to do it. Teach students the growth mindset — meaning that you can always get better, and there is no limit. The second C, Control, involves allowing the student to take control of some choices as long as they also deal with the consequences. The third C is Connection, meaning that the adult needs to listen to the teenager, to understand and respect them.
Dr. Price also says that parents should let kids fail because that is how they learn. When the parents become more comfortable with failure and uncertainty, it allows their kids to grow and become successful adults.
Dr. Adam Price, author, He’s Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself
Colleges are required by Federal law to present anti-sexual assault training to new students, but rather than instilling “no means no,” some experts think we need to do much more to enlist men to help prevent sexual assault. Experts discuss how it can be done by making men allies, rather than regarding them as potential perpetrators, and through bystander training.
Teenage Boys: They’re Not Lazy
Teenage boys are often labeled as lazy by parents who see that their homework isn’t done and their attitude is one of disinterest. An expert psychologist explains the inner workings of teen boys and how parents can bring out the best in them.
Only children, also known as “onlies,” have sometimes been labeled as the spoiled and selfish children of society. In studies from the 1980’s, being an only child was likened to having a disease. Beth Apone Salamon, Director of Communications & Television at Rutgers University, and Lauren Sandler, author of One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child and the Joy of Being One, approach the concept of only children in different ways. Salamon voices her concern that once her parents are gone, she won’t have anyone to share family memories with. In contrast, Sandler loves being an only child as well as raising an only child: “We’re just selfish people raising selfish children.” Dr. Susan Newman, psychologist and author of Parenting an Only Child, points out that it makes sense that many onlies thrive more than children with siblings do, because the attention and time allotted by parents to their one child is more concentrated than if they were to divide these things among multiple children. Newman also talks about the importance of the “sibling substitute,” a friend, cousin, or family member with whom the only child can relate to and become comfortable with. By building relationships with “sibling substitutes,” onlies are able to connect with people other than their parents, which has proved beneficial in the long run. Additional studies have debunked myths about only children, concluding that the number of siblings a person has has little impact on his or her personality and life.
Only Children and Their Parents: Only children have been villified for more than a century as inevitably selfish, spoiled and lonely. Yet research finds that children without siblings are psychologically quite similar to those with brothers and/or sisters. Today the proportion of only children is increasing. Experts refute the myths about only children and discuss how parents can help children navigate life with no siblings.
The Sense of Touch: The sense of touch is often taken lightly, yet it conveys more emotion than any other sense because it literally has a separate emotional wiring system. A neuroscientist explains the sense of touch, how it works, the power it has over everyday decisions, and what can happen when it’s not working as it should.